writing my proposed research design section

this week, i focused most specifically on work on the research design section of my dissertation proposal.  i did quite a bit of writing on sunday and came up with a strong first draft of my research design, which my classmates and i talked a lot about on tuesday night.  they offered such great and helpful feedback and asked a lot of questions which helped me to deepen my thinking on writing this piece.  then, on wednesday, my chair and i talked about the same piece and she helped to push my thinking even further along.  all in all, it has been a really excellent process and i look forward to spending more time working on it (and on the rest of my proposal) this weekend.

there were two things that really helped me as i planned to write this piece.  the first is something i read in maxwell (2012) in which he describes qualitative research design as having four parts:

1. research relationships
2. setting and participant selection
3. data collection
4. data analysis

he writes quite a bit more about this on page 90 of his 2012 book.  i liked thinking about it in this way because it helped me to give my research relationships quite a bit more thought and space in my proposal.  for me, this piece on relationships is fundamental to my design decisionmaking, and reading maxwell helped me to keep this piece in.

second, a couple of weeks ago, sharon talked in class about breaking up one's research questions into concepts/constructs and taking the time to define and better understand those constructs in the context of one's work.  this was really helpful to me as i looked back on my questions and their relationship to my research design.  around that same time, my chair amy suggested that i create a chart with three columns: research question, data source/s, and data analysis.  combining these two ways of thinking about my questions and their relationships to my data really helped me to fill in the gaps between questions and data sources.

for me, these two pieces pushed me quite a bit further in my thinking and writing this past week.  i have all of the feedback and notes from my classmates and chair gathered together and i'm really looking forward to sorting them out, really thinking through them, and doing a heavy load of writing this weekend.  i can't wait!

letting things settle

this week was both awesome and messy.  coming down off the crohn's diagnosis and feeling under the weather, i found myself completely unable to do homework over the weekend, so i mostly just kept it low key, hung out with my husband, and read for pleasure.  it was a good weekend to do it -- since i had my group presentation on monday, i had read the readings in advance.  this was also the first year that i completely missed the ethnography forum.  i was pretty sad about it, but in hindsight, i'm really glad i didn't go.  i was simply not in the place to be around anyone, so i'm glad i listened to my body.

our presentation on monday went really well, and our professor and TA wrote to us afterwards with lots of positive feedback and enthusiasm about what we did.  this meant so much to me, especially coming from people i respect deeply.  plus, when you know you've worked hard and it is acknowledged, the rewards are that much greater.

on my dissertation proposal-writing timeline, i had planned to have a good chunk of my research design done this week.  however, it didn't happen, partly because i was wrapped up in processing my diagnosis and partly because i couldn't devote the mental energy to research design planning.  on wednesday, i was supposed to have a 2-pager written for my chair for our meeting, but i emailed her saying that i just hadn't been able to write it.  she suggested that if i found i still didn't have anything written by wednesday morning, we could just talk things out.  this felt strange to me because i'm used to having these polished pieces done, but our talk ended up being just the thing i needed.  first of all, it helped me to break out of the pattern of having a finished thing to present, and to just sit publicly with my questions and not-fully-formed ideas.  second, we had a really good conversation and it really helped me to get a better handle on my plans for my research design.  talking things out with my chair gave me an opportunity to ask questions and sort through my own thinking and confusion. it was great.

next week is spring break.  of course, i will still be at work everyday, but i'm planning on spending the rest of this week and the weekend reading for pleasure.  i won a book called "the gravity of birds" in a goodreads.com giveaway and i want to be prompt in reading and reviewing it.  i hope to be done by saturday night so that i can get back into my dissertation proposal-ing and other homework by sunday.

busy/exciting times, and a diagnosis

well, this has been a pretty intense and interesting week (do i say this every week?).  classes are going well.  i can't believe that the semester ends in just two and a half months!  it's wild how quickly things move.  in terms of my advanced research methods class, my group meets again today to have a final talk about next week's presentation.  because we got started so early, we ended up having to spend a lot less time working on this project.  we split the work out very evenly and gave ourselves the space to make final changes/edits/critique.  in today's meeting, we are each bringing the handouts we've worked on and we'll spend some time cleaning each other's work up.  i'm excited about this process.  it reminds me how amazing collaborative work can be when all parties are willing to be involved.

re: my dissertation proposal, (a) the readings in my advanced research methods class have really informed proposal-writing from a practical point of view (for example, maxwell's book on qual research design and ravitch & riggan's book on conceptual frameworks have been immensely helpful in my thinking about the organization and delivery of my ideas and argument); (b) the classwork for my proposal-writing seminar has been equally helpful, as we have a group of people working together on our projects -- this week, we began sharing quotes and ideas that will contribute to our lit reviews; (c) sara, my lone cohortmate, and i have been reading each others' writing and offering feedback and this has been an excellent way for me to receive feedback and also extend my thinking on my work; and (d) my meetings with my chair amy have been really exciting and beyond helpful in moving me forward and keeping me on a timeline.  i have no doubt that i'll have a complete proposal in may.  this weekend, i'll be working on a 2-3-pager on my research design.  i really can't wait to write it.

so, i've been talking a lot about my health issues and the various tests i've been undergoing.  this week, i also finally got a diagnosis: i have crohn's disease.  on the one hand, i'm feeling really relieved that i have a diagnosis.  for some reason, my husband and i have had a strong feeling since dec/jan that this was crohn's, so its good to just know.  and on the other hand, it's kinda scary.  my symptoms and inflammation are super mild, so that's good, but i really don't know what the future holds.  over the past year, i've begun creating habits (like meditating, running, etc) that i know will help me in the long run, and knowing that i'm a few months away from coursework and might soon have more time to maintain and develop these good habits is also good.  but i'm still kinda bummed.  i know this sad feeling will pass soon, but for now, i'm kinda just sitting with it.

at the same time, knowing that i have so much support from my coworkers and family and friends helps quite a lot -- in fact, the love and kindness i've received, especially from my husband who is my champion in everything, has been incredible.  and being able to finally work on my dissertation proposal also helps -- it's like, i know that no matter what happens with my health, i have this incredible project that i'm working on and that i'm so passionate about, and that really keeps me excited and enthusiastic.

an update

this week felt so long while i was in it, and now it feels like it has just flown by.  among the tasks i hoped to get done this week was the writing of a 2-page prospectus toward my dissertation proposal.  i have about two pages written, but they are in serious need of revision.  i've got a lot of thinking to do on this tonight, as i hope to email the prospectus to my advisor early in the weekend so she has enough time to take a look at it prior to our meeting on wednesday.

for my advanced qual methods class, i met with my group (of two other people) re: a presentation we'll be giving to the class in three weeks.  it was really great to meet so far in advance with two other people who are equally enthusiastic about giving a good presentation that we feel will be really helpful to our classmates.  we already have a great plan, but now we need to build in some of the details.  i'm definitely looking forward to it.

in terms of health, i'm once again a step or two closer to figuring out whatever it is that i have.  i had a capsule endoscopy test today and i'll have the results back in a week or two.  so, there's that to look forward to.

also, a shameless plug about an upcoming event that i help coordinate:

the 15th annual clayton lecture, featuring

DR. WILLIAM HITE

superintendent of philadelphia schools

LEADING THROUGH CHANGE

tuesday, february 12

4:30-6:30pm

bodek lounge houston hall

reception to follow

[more info here]

hope to see you there!

getting to the problem

this was a really intense week, partly because i had to have a colonoscopy done on wednesday as part of my ongoing health situation.  so, i couldn't eat anything but jello and broth on tuesday, which gave me that really delightful combo-buzz of delirious and low energy by the time i got to class on tuesday night.  that said, we did a really cool activity that helped me to think about my dissertation work.  the writing activity was called "getting to the problem" and it's clearly one of those things that you could use for a variety of projects.  you start by answering these four questions:

1. topic: i am studying (writing about)...
2. question: because i want to learn more about...
3. rationale: in order to understand...
4. significance: so that we will know more about...

as a second step, you could try to answer these four questions backwards, i.e. from 4 to 1 and see what you come up with.  here's what my first try (while under the influence of zero food, so it's not awesome, but i'm sure you're not judging) looked like:

i am studying the kinds of conversations and questions that take place in a series of staff-run and staff-attended writing workshops because i want to learn more about (1) the ways academic support staff think about their work and how they are situated in it and (2) how academic support staff view the power and social demands of the workplace in order to understand the various learning demands of the academic workplace (as seen by those doing the work) so that we [in the field] will know more about (1) power and social positioning as legitimate (though often unacknowledged) learning demands of the workplace and (2) how academic support staff negotiate identity and power at work, and so that we [academic support staff] will (1) know more about ourselves and each other in the context of our work and (2) have a context in which to explore the various ways that we write and the types of writing we want to learn.

whew - that is quite a run-on sentence, but it was a really enjoyable and eye-opening activity that helped me to think about and understand my topic in a different and, in some sense, illuminating way.  more on this later, and more on my health later too.  as always, thank you for reading.

overwhelmed, but still enthusiastic

this week was short -- we had monday off for mlk day, meaning my qual methods course didn't meet.  it also gave me an extra day to spend with my husband.  we went to new jersey with another friend of ours and spent a good part of the afternoon with my tattoo artist.  i got three really pretty tattoos on my legs (which i can hopefully post pictures of when it's warmer and when they've healed) and my friend got her first tattoo ever, which is on her forearm.  it was a really fun process and i'm in love with my new ink.

on tuesday, i had my doctoral seminar.  it was great to chat about the readings and about our proposed work, but we were also told that we may not be sharing our proposal drafts in class over the semester, but rather should be working on them independently.  this has me a little apprehensive, but i might ask either (a) if we can change this plan or (b) if a few folks in the class want to share our work independently.

on wednesday, i met with my advisor amy to officially ask her if she'd be my dissertation chair and she said yes!  she also gave me a bunch of homework to do in preparation for our next two meetings.  i'm really happy she's my chair -- she is not just super adept and knowledgeable about qual research, and literacy and learning, but she's also really adept at goal-making and timeline-obeying and i really need all of this.  i'm genuinely thrilled that she has agreed to be my chair.  i'm sure i'll write more about her and this process over the coming years, but in the meantime, she is helping me to feel positive and enthusiastic and challenged.

amy also suggested i email a couple of cohort mates about reading their proposals, which i did today.  one has already sent hers to me, and i hope to read it over the weekend.  speaking of reading, that's another thing i've been feeling overwhelmed by.  i've likely mentioned this a billion times over the past few years, but i'm kind of a slow reader.  especially on weeknights, when i've had a long day at work, i find myself struggling through material, even stuff i'm really interested in.  so, the gigantic batch of reading i've been assigned has been tough to maneuver through, but i'm doing my best.

reflecting on week 1

week 1 of courses was amazing.  i'm so excited to be in my last semester of coursework and to be taking the two classes i'm taking.  i'm most looking forward to getting to work on my dissertation proposal (and i do think both classes will help me to do that).  dr. campano got us all really excited in class on tuesday night, and then nervous when we started thinking about the magnitude and significance of the work to our lives, and then excited again when he told us that with hard work, we can have complete proposals (subject to revision once read by our committees, of course) written by semester end.  yippee!

after class, the other lone cohort-mate of mine who is still in coursework (and is a wonderful human being and fun to be around and to study with) and i went to a wine bar and chatted about the journey and looked forward together, too.  it is great to reconnect with a cohort-mate after a couple years apart.  we're lucky enough to have yet another cohort-mate as our TA for our proposal writing seminar, so i'll be actively using the "cohort love" tag on my posts this semester.  this is clearly a good time to announce that i just added a "dissertation" tag to this post.  aaah!  i'm tagging things "dissertation" -- that time has come.  i'm obviously too excited to be very coherent in this post, so i guess, reader, you'll have to trust that things will be more coherent in future posts.  i'll leave it at that.

my final semester of coursework

my semester begins on monday and i am soooo excited to start my two final courses of my program.  it's taken me four and a half years to get here and i really am kind of bursting with a mix of excitement and apprehension.  one piece contributing to the anxiety is that my eye illness came back.  things like sleeping right and exercising and eating well all help me curb the symptoms of this illness, but being in school while working full time leaves little time for these essentials, so i'm hoping i can find a way to really do it all.  i've started working on that this past week by getting into bed early and waking up early.  it's a struggle, but i'm working at it.  i just need to remind myself of the why.  there is a purpose for all of this and i need to keep that present, especially on those days when i just don't want to get out of bed.

the two courses i'm taking this semester are "advanced qual methods and case analysis" with sharon ravitch and my doctoral seminar with gerald campano.  i've taken classes with each of these faculty members before and am really looking forward to working with them again.  i'm sure i'll have more to report once classes start next week, but i'm hoping to begin reading for my monday class over the weekend.  i am so looking forward to all this semester has to offer.

nearing the end of another semester

i guess this is my final post for the semester.  the semester, of course, isn't yet done, but we're close!  to give an update on my post from last week, my teammates and i did really well on our presentation (i think).  if you're interested in seeing it, you can do so by clicking here.  i used prezi to create this presentation.  i find it super easy to use and manipulate.  it's great for illustrating challenging concepts or making connections between multiple ideas.  i have also used prezi for note-taking and paper planning.  after our presentation, one of my groupmates sent around an email with some notes she took on people's post-presentation questions for us.  we used these notes to revise our paper and i handed it in on behalf of the group just yesterday.  i'm really happy to be done for multiple reasons: (a) i'm officially done with my fels cert work; (b) it's easier now to focus on my final work for my other class; and (c) it's just nice to complete such a large and challenging project!

so, now i'm working on my final paper for my other class.  i have pages and pages of relatively organized notes, but i am still struggling with getting the thing written.  one piece of this is that i've picked up and begun reading three new books, two fiction ones and one historical one.  i love reading, but sometimes, i get so caught up in a book that i can't seem to do anything else.  i need to figure out a way to change this habit.  right now, i'm just trying to stay up in my office (away from my kindle) and concentrate on getting some things written.  hopefully, i'll accomplish at least SOME of this.  maybe i'll even have a chance to update this post with positive news tomorrow.  time will tell.

working on my final fels final

just a quick update -- i'm in the midst of working on a group final project with 7 other folks in my budgeting class.  the assignment is to write a draft 2014 budget for the city of philadelphia in the context of a liberal mayor-run city and to present it to the class.  it's my last fels class, i.e. my final els final, and i can't wait to be done and have a certificate!  of course, that does partly depend on my completion of this last batch of work.  i think a couple of my teammates are a little concerned about the rate of completion of this paper, but i think we're doing pretty well.  i'm sure i'll have more to say next week after we present our work.  in the meantime, wish me luck!

a hectic but happy week

this past week was so hectic!  we've officially moved into the second half of the semester.  i know this because my fels course has been broken up into two halves: the accounting half, which we just completed and the budgeting half, which we've just begun.  i'm looking forward to the budgeting portion of class, but my one disappointment so far about this unit is that it seems too heavily focused on government budgeting with no real eye toward non-profit budgeting.  i hope we at least get some taste of the latter in the next six weeks.

having the beginning of the second part run into the end of the first was more stressful than i expected: we had our first day of our new budgeting class this past saturday and the final for our accounting class due this past sunday.  it was hard to think about our new unit and assignments this saturday when we were still working on our final accounting projects, which were group projects.  i have a lot to say about group projects, but i think i've said much of this stuff previously -- it gets challenging when only half of a group is committed to responding, communicating, and just plain timeliness, but we worked through it and handed our project in on time.  because there were many leader-y personalities in the group, i expected to take a backseat on the group management end, but i ended up becoming the de facto leader at some point, much to my own surprise.  anyway, it all worked out and hopefully, we'll have a grade we're happy about.

this week, i also had a team presentation in my discourse analysis class -- my classmate T and i presented on "repertoire and recontextualization" on thursday.  the presentation went pretty well and we got a perfect score, so that was good.  even though there are six or so weeks left in the semester, i find myself thinking about my final paper and looking forward to at least developing a good outline and beginning my work on it soon.  the thing i've missed most this past few months is doing research and writing a good academic paper.  i'm really looking forward to it.  i emailed my professor with some clarifying questions about the final assignment and once i get a response, i'll get started.

the one really exciting thing about this past week was that i got to spend time with a couple of people from my cohort.  last friday, i had coffee with one cohort-mate and we shared tons of news and insights.  it's so nice to reconnect.  and then just yesterday, another cohort-mate visited me at work for a few minutes.  our cohort has so much love for each other, but we don't see each other too much, so it was really lovely getting to hug these folks and listen to their news and chat about school and life things.

anyway, more later... for now, i'm off to work on my first budgeting homework assignment! 

challenges in one-eyed reading and dominant ideologies of health and healthcare

so, i've continued to deal with my eye illness (though i'm definitely on the mend!) and it's made doing the normal everyday school (and work) things a little challenging.  i basically can't see out of my left eye right now and that leaves my right eye to do all of the heavy lifting at work, at home, and in school.  doing physical tasks (like cooking or painting my nails, for example) with just one eye can be challenging because i don't have as much depth perception, so my "aim" isn't very good.  and reading and writing with just one eye is challenging mostly because it just puts a lot of extra strain on the eye and the eye ends up having to work extra hard.  in any case, it just means that i'm reading slower and having to take lots of breaks.  more than that though, i'm learning to be patient with my body and to not get frustrated at my new pace.  and to be forgiving if i don't get all my reading done.

interestingly, reading bloomaert's "discourse" for my discourse analysis class has helped me to think deeply about various issues surrounding my eye illness.  i was particularly moved by the chapter on ideology.  i couldn't help but think about the various ways in which i interact with dominant ideologies in my own life, especially in relation to health and wellness and the healthcare system.  here are some connections to healthcare i made while reading bloomaert's chapter on ideology (he makes lots of references to gramsci, by the way, who i was completely enamored with when i was 18 or 19... just a random fact):

• "... when it comes to explaining how ideologies become ingredients of structures of power and control, van dijk's solution is straightforward: people control themselves by means of the ideologies they have in their heads, and they do so as a group because the ideologies are group ideologies" (162).  i've been thinking about this a lot in the context of medicine and food.  one thing i've found in my interactions with my doctors, with family members and friends, and with people in general (including co-workers) is that people just don't seem to see much connection between the food they eat and their health.  now that i'm dealing with this major inflammation in my eye (and potentially elsewhere in my body), i've changed my diet and begun eating tons of anti-inflammatory foods.  i've also given up alcohol, gluten, certain meats, dairy, and certain inflammatory produce (including tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, and potatoes).  yes -- it's a major transition, but i've seen major improvements in my health since making these changes.  this dominant ideology of medicine as not linked to food controls people's decisionmaking about their own health.  for example, people who are sick don't necessarily feel the need to change their diets to get healthy.  and even though i told my doctors that changing my diet has helped me heal faster, they don't really have an interest in researching anti-inflammatory foods, suggesting these things to other patients, or even acknowledging how important it is!  the ideology is so ingrained that people can't see past it or through it or whatever.  even though my co-workers and family members know that these changes are helping me, they still say things like, "well, one sandwich won't kill you!"  and i have to reiterate, "you're right -- it won't kill me, but it might make my eye take longer to heal and frankly, i'm ready to have my vision back!"  i think those two things seem so separate to people that they can't really fathom such a direct connection.
• "no idea is in itself 'ideological;' it may become ideological as soon as it is picked up by power-regulating institutions such as the media and inserted into the ideological reproduction system they organize.  thus, the media seem to have the power to construct deep ideological messages out of trivial, sociologically insignificant events or phenomena" (163).  i guess for me, the institutions i kept thinking about when reading this are the food and health care industries.  another way i'm thinking about this is specifically in the context of insurance.  the ways that we often think about ourselves as healthy (and ailing) people are within the confines of our health care plans.  if you don't have health care, your options becoming exceedingly limited.  and at the same time, if you have an HMO plan like me, everything is parsed out by your PCP's office -- they are the deciding authority on whether you can go to certain specialists and if you decide you want to go to an alt med professional like a chiropractor or acupuncturist, you actually have to convince your doctor that this is, in fact, your body and that it doesn't matter what their belief system about these things are because you are both working in a system that unfairly gives them a certain power over your health decisions.  i often find myself thinking about my own health within the boundaries of what is allowed by my health care plan; i think of specialist visits in terms of co-pay and so on.  and then we're surrounded by all these public discourses that reinforce those ways of thinking and being.
• "at the end of the day, hegemony may be what it is because there is a real price to be paid for being anti-hegemonic.  the price may be that one is not understood, not heard, not recognised as a subject, but it may also be that one is ostracised, exiled, killed or jailed, made unemployable, or declared insane.  as foucault has shown, the boundaries of hegemony are well guarded by coercive institutions" (167).  at a lesser level, i find that regardless of what i do with my body (for example, my change in diet to heal inflammation), the health system is still primarily concerned with its own set of standards.  when i come into my doctor's appointments, i can mention how much the anti-inflammatory diet is healing me, but my doctor's interest is specifically in whether i'm following my medicine plan, whether i'm taking my pills and drops at the recommended doses, and so on.  so i'm allowed to be counter-hegemonic on my own time (for example, i'm sharing my knowledge with others who are dealing with inflammation and with friends, family, and coworkers online), but those practices are still seen as completely separate from who i am in the medical system and it's expected that i don't voice those particular practices in my doctor's visits because they're seen as irrelevant to the issue at hand.  in that system, i am represented by a series of charts and blood test results and logs of each visit and all those things, but it's unlikely that they will ever include any notes on the things i'm doing on my own to heal my body.

well, those are some of the ways that bloomaert's chapter really spoke to my life this week. of course, as i mentioned earlier, the book is really, really interesting and even though it is kind of a primer on various approaches to thinking about discourse, it also is a great primer for larger concepts relating to power and identity.  and it's super accessible, too.

a fall update

the new semester is in full gear and i'm so excited to be back in classes.  i should mention that i've been sick for the past month with an eye illness, so it's made it a little hard to do regular things like write emails and post on my blog, but i'm making it work.

this semester, i'm taking two classes: "discourse analysis" with betsy rymes and "public financial management," which is a fels course focusing on accounting and budgeting.  so far, i'm really enjoying the readings for the courses. i'm in the middle of chapter 1 of the first book for dr. rymes' class, which is called discourse: a critical introduction, by jan bloomaert. so far, it does a really good job of giving a lay of the discourse studies land, so to speak.  i'm really excited to read more.

although we're reading one somewhat blah textbook for my accounting class, we're also reading an intensely interesting book called uncharitable: how restraints on nonprofits undermine their potential, by dan pallotta.  this is one of those can't-put-it-down type books that you want to read on your commute, at quick stops and waits, etc etc.  once i've finished it in a couple weeks, i'll probably write another post with a more complete opinion about it.

i should add that i've continued to do some fiction work and i've got a few novel and short-story type things in the works.  writing is fun.  hope everyone's fall is feeling as rich with promising new possibilities as mine is!

staying afloat

my winter study plans are in full swing. i'm actually lucky enough to get a week of paid holiday this upcoming week, which means i can focus on my winter class and my comps studying. to be honest, i thought i was off to a good start with studying for comps but i got caught up on other work last week (including having to hand in a final for my fall class, having A LOT to do at my job, having homework for my winter class, and having some family stuff going on) and all that meant that i fell a bit behind on comps studying. i know -- it's pretty disappointing.

still, i finally have all my materials in one place (in the physical world, that means it's all on one table finally; in the virtual world, i'm working on a prezi where all my notes can live and interact with each other). overall though, i think i'll be okay. two months from now, comps will all be over... i think.

my winter course has begun!

it's the second to last week of the semester and while many of my colleagues are working on final papers, i have already completed mine (though i do still have to present it on monday) and begun a new semester. that's right -- you're still writing your fall final papers and i'm already in my winter course. part of the reason for this overlap is that gse's semesters extend a couple weeks past those in the school of arts and sciences. since i'm doing a certificate at the fels institute of government (which is in the school of arts and sciences), some of my classes run on a slightly different schedule than my gse ones. my winter fels course(grant writing) is one of those cases.

to be honest, i planned to be exceptionally stressed out about this winter course, especially because i will be studying for my doctoral comps in tandem with this course. the course is comprised of 36 hours over 3 weeks with class sessions ranging from 3 hours (the bulk of sessions) to 8 hours (a couple of sessions run 4, 6, and 8 hours). today is the first day, an 8-hour session, and it has been quite fun and very educational.

the professor has a lot of real-life expertise in writing grant proposals to large foundations. one of the best parts of taking classes at fels is that every professor is a leader in the nonprofit world who brings a lot of real-life experience to their classrooms. our professor has also explained that she has designed this class for working professionals, so there's very little reading, but lots of real, applicable research and writing. i'm excited -- can you tell? even from the first class, i can tell that she's very interested in helping us to get our feet wet. yay.

i haven't written in about a month and that means i'm at that point in the semester where my work feels overwhelming and i am losing track of my responsibilities. it's never a good sign, or maybe it is. in any case, i ended up getting assigned a ton of work in each class this week. for some reason, people think that thanksgiving break means people have more time to do work. let me just straighten that out right now: thanksgiving break does not give students extra time to do work. for starters, it's the exact same amount of time between classes as in any other week and if anything, there's less time because we have to spend time traveling or being with family.

so, to fill you in on what i've been up to since i last posted:

- i handed in my master's portfolio!
- i got my comps questions approved (i'll be taking them in the spring)
- i finished the count of monte cristo (i know, this isn't school-related, but still, it was an awesome book)!
- i'm a presentation and a paper away from having completed my fels course (at which point, i'll be 3 down and 2 to go)
- i'm a final curriculum as inquiry project away from having completed my master's course
- i'm taking a fels winter course on grant writing

i'm excited about how my coursework has shaped up this year. re: this weekend, i am really just going to try and push my way through a lot of work. i read two books for class today and wrote a response paper i'm not even sure how, but i have worked up the energy to write one more short paper tonight. i'll see where i am tomorrow, but i'll hopefully be in a good place so i can do more writing and revising. wish me luck!

paper-writing and positive group relationships

i got a lot done this week, including my "selected questions" paper, which is the second of the two larger papers in the master's portfolio. yay. after writing it, i also revisited the larger portfolio and wrote a few of the smaller reflections. the portfolio is shaping up nicely. one of the things i need to do for the portfolio is to choose a few "artifacts" from my coursework to include in the portfolio and then to write a few paragraphs about each, i think partly explaining the work i did for them and partly explaining my reactions to rereading them. it's probably going to be enjoyable once i do it, but for now, i'm kind of feeling blah about having to reread old work.

i also began working on an organizational assessment that is part of the small group work for my "leading nonprofits" class. the small group work is a semester-long project in which we work with a real nonprofit in the city to offer advice by way of an organizational assessment, case statement, and strategic analysis. a bare-bones first-draft of the organizational assessment was due this past tuesday, prior to our first meeting with the organization's leadership team (in this case, the project director). i think a few weeks ago, i was expressing some anxiety about the possibility of working in a group where the members aren't interested in collaboration or hard work. i'm happy to report that i've lucked out again! both of my group members are smart, thoughtful go-getters. each of us has taken time to initiate assignments and offer feedback and to me, this is at the heart of good group relationships. on top of that, it seems like we're all positive and well-intentioned, which definitely helps. given that we each work full-time, having good attitudes and valuing collaboration takes away some of the stress typically associated with group projects.

all in all, even though i did a whole lot of reading and writing this week (and also left a lot unfinished), i feel pretty happy about where i am and about how the semester is shaping up. getting the "selected questions" piece done especially has taken quite a bit of stress out of my life, because i can now focus on my two classes.

lately, i've been struggling to balance my various responsibilities. this week was really busy at work with two big events to deal with. on top of that, i just had a ton of reading to do, so much so that i took a half day on tuesday to get a nice chunk done. turns out i was one of the only people in class who actually read all of the articles, so i think i need to cut myself a break and just do whatever i can.

i guess the thing that's been hardest for me is to focus on my "selected questions" paper, the second paper in the master's portfolio, with classwork piling in. i find myself having difficulty just sitting down and working on it. i could potentially ask for an extension, but the truth is that i just need to get it done because i have so much other regular semester work to focus on. also, my husband and i are finally going on a vacation (to jamaica in mid-october -- yay!) and i just can't have a paper like this hanging over my head when i'm trying to relax.

my current plan is to try and get a lot of my work done early so that i'm not stuck doing work while on vacation. in any case, we'll see how well that goes. right now, i'm barely staying afloat. but at least i'm smiling through it.

first week down...

so, i got through my first week of classes okay. something i want to do a little differently this semester is spend more time reading and less time stressing out about reading. i'm not sure if that makes sense, but i guess what i'm saying is that i really want to read something every single night and make that a part of my practice (not just as a student but also as a person and a reader), but i don't want to stress about what doesn't get done. the truth is we're all doing the best we can and i have to respect myself and my capacity and not freak out about what doesn't get done.

that said, my first week of homework is feeling a little intense already, especially given the big things i need to get done at work this week. in terms of work, on top of all my regular stuff, i also have two events happening (the memorial service for dr sipe and another event later on next week). it's hard to think about homework with these time-sensitive things going on.

for my "(re)forming the elementary RWL curriculum" course, i have to read 7 articles and a book intro and write a 5-pager. for my "leading nonprofits" course, i have to read 8 articles and 4 book chapters and write what i think will be a 2-3-pager. sigh.

on top of all this, i also have a 12-pager due for my master's portfolio. i have no idea what that will turn out to look like. it's kind of scary. but like i said, i'm working on not stressing out. and i have faith that i'll get as much of it done as i can.

back in session

so, school is back in session. although my classes don't begin until next week, i had the privilege yesterday of overhearing the voices of many, many new students who came through our building for orientation. i always forget how exciting and new fall feels, not just because of the start of the new school year but also because it's a season of rebirth.

this semester, i'll be taking two courses and working on my master's portfolio. on september 1, i handed in a draft of one of the main master's portfolio papers, which is called the "conceptual territories" paper and which i wrote a bit about in an earlier post. on october 1, i'll be handing in a draft of the other main paper, which is called the "selected questions" paper. i'll be writing an i-search paper, which i've never done before. my question is about the intersections of learning, work, and identity. i had planned to start writing a draft of my paper this week, but so far i've just done a bunch of reading (which has been fun). one of the books i'm reading is mike rose's lives on the boundary. it's really well written and easy to dive into.

[as an aside, i've also been re-re-reading salman rushdie's haroun & the sea of stories with my husband. we read about a chapter a night before bed. it's such a good story. if you haven't read it, you should. here's a great line from the chunk we read last night: he knew what he knew: the real world was full of magic, so magical worlds could easily be real.]

in any case, as i said, i'm also taking two courses this semester. the first is dr. campano's "forming and reforming the reading/writing/literacy elementary curriculum," which is one of the required courses for the master's degree. i'm interested in the course, but also a little nervous that it'll be quite a bit out of my focus of study. i'm curious as to whether it's appropriate for me, but i guess i'll have to wait and see. i haven't seen the syllabus yet. the second course i'm taking is a fels course called "leading nonprofits," taught by tine hansen-turton and nicholas torres. they just sent the syllabus today and it looks pretty interesting. over the course of the course (heh), students work in groups and build a mock non-profit together. i really hope that my group is a good group of stable, professional, reliable folks. my group in my fels class last spring was so, so good and i'd love to have a similar dynamic.

anyway, that's kind of what i'm looking forward to this fall. and you, if you're interested, can look forward to more frequent posts from me. in keeping with the semester schedule, i'll be trying to post once a week. yay.