busy/exciting times, and a diagnosis

well, this has been a pretty intense and interesting week (do i say this every week?).  classes are going well.  i can't believe that the semester ends in just two and a half months!  it's wild how quickly things move.  in terms of my advanced research methods class, my group meets again today to have a final talk about next week's presentation.  because we got started so early, we ended up having to spend a lot less time working on this project.  we split the work out very evenly and gave ourselves the space to make final changes/edits/critique.  in today's meeting, we are each bringing the handouts we've worked on and we'll spend some time cleaning each other's work up.  i'm excited about this process.  it reminds me how amazing collaborative work can be when all parties are willing to be involved.

re: my dissertation proposal, (a) the readings in my advanced research methods class have really informed proposal-writing from a practical point of view (for example, maxwell's book on qual research design and ravitch & riggan's book on conceptual frameworks have been immensely helpful in my thinking about the organization and delivery of my ideas and argument); (b) the classwork for my proposal-writing seminar has been equally helpful, as we have a group of people working together on our projects -- this week, we began sharing quotes and ideas that will contribute to our lit reviews; (c) sara, my lone cohortmate, and i have been reading each others' writing and offering feedback and this has been an excellent way for me to receive feedback and also extend my thinking on my work; and (d) my meetings with my chair amy have been really exciting and beyond helpful in moving me forward and keeping me on a timeline.  i have no doubt that i'll have a complete proposal in may.  this weekend, i'll be working on a 2-3-pager on my research design.  i really can't wait to write it.

so, i've been talking a lot about my health issues and the various tests i've been undergoing.  this week, i also finally got a diagnosis: i have crohn's disease.  on the one hand, i'm feeling really relieved that i have a diagnosis.  for some reason, my husband and i have had a strong feeling since dec/jan that this was crohn's, so its good to just know.  and on the other hand, it's kinda scary.  my symptoms and inflammation are super mild, so that's good, but i really don't know what the future holds.  over the past year, i've begun creating habits (like meditating, running, etc) that i know will help me in the long run, and knowing that i'm a few months away from coursework and might soon have more time to maintain and develop these good habits is also good.  but i'm still kinda bummed.  i know this sad feeling will pass soon, but for now, i'm kinda just sitting with it.

at the same time, knowing that i have so much support from my coworkers and family and friends helps quite a lot -- in fact, the love and kindness i've received, especially from my husband who is my champion in everything, has been incredible.  and being able to finally work on my dissertation proposal also helps -- it's like, i know that no matter what happens with my health, i have this incredible project that i'm working on and that i'm so passionate about, and that really keeps me excited and enthusiastic.

reflecting on week 1

week 1 of courses was amazing.  i'm so excited to be in my last semester of coursework and to be taking the two classes i'm taking.  i'm most looking forward to getting to work on my dissertation proposal (and i do think both classes will help me to do that).  dr. campano got us all really excited in class on tuesday night, and then nervous when we started thinking about the magnitude and significance of the work to our lives, and then excited again when he told us that with hard work, we can have complete proposals (subject to revision once read by our committees, of course) written by semester end.  yippee!

after class, the other lone cohort-mate of mine who is still in coursework (and is a wonderful human being and fun to be around and to study with) and i went to a wine bar and chatted about the journey and looked forward together, too.  it is great to reconnect with a cohort-mate after a couple years apart.  we're lucky enough to have yet another cohort-mate as our TA for our proposal writing seminar, so i'll be actively using the "cohort love" tag on my posts this semester.  this is clearly a good time to announce that i just added a "dissertation" tag to this post.  aaah!  i'm tagging things "dissertation" -- that time has come.  i'm obviously too excited to be very coherent in this post, so i guess, reader, you'll have to trust that things will be more coherent in future posts.  i'll leave it at that.

a hectic but happy week

this past week was so hectic!  we've officially moved into the second half of the semester.  i know this because my fels course has been broken up into two halves: the accounting half, which we just completed and the budgeting half, which we've just begun.  i'm looking forward to the budgeting portion of class, but my one disappointment so far about this unit is that it seems too heavily focused on government budgeting with no real eye toward non-profit budgeting.  i hope we at least get some taste of the latter in the next six weeks.

having the beginning of the second part run into the end of the first was more stressful than i expected: we had our first day of our new budgeting class this past saturday and the final for our accounting class due this past sunday.  it was hard to think about our new unit and assignments this saturday when we were still working on our final accounting projects, which were group projects.  i have a lot to say about group projects, but i think i've said much of this stuff previously -- it gets challenging when only half of a group is committed to responding, communicating, and just plain timeliness, but we worked through it and handed our project in on time.  because there were many leader-y personalities in the group, i expected to take a backseat on the group management end, but i ended up becoming the de facto leader at some point, much to my own surprise.  anyway, it all worked out and hopefully, we'll have a grade we're happy about.

this week, i also had a team presentation in my discourse analysis class -- my classmate T and i presented on "repertoire and recontextualization" on thursday.  the presentation went pretty well and we got a perfect score, so that was good.  even though there are six or so weeks left in the semester, i find myself thinking about my final paper and looking forward to at least developing a good outline and beginning my work on it soon.  the thing i've missed most this past few months is doing research and writing a good academic paper.  i'm really looking forward to it.  i emailed my professor with some clarifying questions about the final assignment and once i get a response, i'll get started.

the one really exciting thing about this past week was that i got to spend time with a couple of people from my cohort.  last friday, i had coffee with one cohort-mate and we shared tons of news and insights.  it's so nice to reconnect.  and then just yesterday, another cohort-mate visited me at work for a few minutes.  our cohort has so much love for each other, but we don't see each other too much, so it was really lovely getting to hug these folks and listen to their news and chat about school and life things.

anyway, more later... for now, i'm off to work on my first budgeting homework assignment! 

comps group: take 1

though i'm just a few weeks past handing in my master's portfolio, i've officially begun preparing for comps. two weeks ago, i met with my advisor and she approved my comps questions. then last night, i met with a couple of cohort-mates who will be taking comps with me and we drew up a plan of action to sort the readings from the various classes we've taken over the past 3+ years and to study them with interest and depth.

our meeting was filled with (for me, anyway) a really wonderful blend of nostalgic and new energy. on the one hand, these are women with whom i began my doctoral journey and whose writings and thoughts have inspired me over the years. however, since most of my cohort-mates are part-time students, we have barely had opportunities to see or study with each other since our first year and so our paths have seemed to veer in different directions. being back together to take our comps is refreshing and energizing.

i am excited to learn from these inspiring women, to read and write alongside them again, and to remember dr. sipe's words: that we all have a legacy together. i'm sure i'll write more posts about comps over the next ten weeks, but as you can see, it has already become that perfect rwl doctoral studies blend of stress and excitement. one thing i've enjoyed about my cohort is that we all seem to tear through everything we're reading, picking it apart with passion and curiosity and making deep connections to our lives and work. even this initial meeting seemed to stir up this same blend among our now tiny group: we are all so excited to re-read and remember, but we're terrified about the time limitations.

last night, sitting together around a table and taking notes, we commented that it felt like it had been ages since we'd done this. and at the same time, we couldn't believe that we'd made it this far.