last semester ended in a rushed, stress-filled month of anxiety. i got my coursework done, worked my butt off on revising my proposal and preparing for my hearing, and lost lots and lots of sleep in the process. my proposal hearing went really well (i passed!), but it left me feeling completely empty in the strangest way. it would take me a few weeks to realize that my body just can't do all-nighter followed by all-nighter anymore and that i don't process stress and lack of sleep that well.
after my hearing, i got sick again and then it clicked: "oh, i actually can't just keep going on as if i don't have crohn's and uveitis. i have to make room in my life for my illnesses because they aren't going anywhere." so, i took the summer off and spent the time overhauling my health plan. for starters, i switched my specialist doctors to two people who are much more trustworthy and much more open to the idea of my using diet, rather than traditional medicine, as a treatment for my diseases. this shift in doctors has actually helped me to shift my own thinking. having doctors who support my plan enables me to stretch my plan.
now, the semester has started and i'm quite a bit healthier (off most of my meds and eating a really clean, crohn's-friendly diet). though i'm no longer in coursework, i want to approach this semester with a deep level of interest and a commitment to spending time on my dissertation work. equally, i want to give myself some reading homework each week. luckily, my chair has also formed a research group of her advisees, which meets every other way, where we can share our progress, ask questions, and talk about each other's work. that's been pretty helpful so far.
right now, i'm working on getting my IRB protocol done. it's actually been taking way more time than i thought it would and i'm just anxious to get it done. more to update later as i dive into this work!
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