keep quiet; learn something.

one of the things i've learned this past year is that people don't get enough credit for keeping their big mouths shut. lately, i've been working hard to practice mouth-shutting whenever possible. i'm full of opinions, so shutting the eff up hasn't been that easy, but i'm working on it. below, i highlight some ways of thinking about what shutting up can look like, and how it helps me to broaden my world view and even empower myself:

speaking from experience
this is kind of a quasi-shutting up tactic, but the bottom line is that people often speak from speculation. a person might say something like, "those kids in those schools have parents who..." this is never a good tactic. first of all, making generalizations about kids and parents and schools is never good for anyone, and it's rare that the generalizations reflect fact. second, people are going to hate you and this will further invalidate what you say.

a good approach when talking in class (and really in any setting) is to speak from one's own experience. for example, "when i was in school, it happened this way..." or "my own personal experiences as a person of color have been..." i think practicing this helps us to stop essentializing others as well.

bowing out of certain battles
we've all been in situations in class where someone says something offensive, or someone states an opinion that we know comes out of bias and privilege. in addition, many of us have been in situations where someone made an assumption that stereotyped a group that we belong to. while i have a right to call these folks out, to straighten out the misconception, etc, it's not my job. and this has been a hard thing for me to learn.

on the one hand, people of color and people of difference often feel the burden of having to clarify, school, or even just bear witness to experiences that are left out of classroom discussion. and sometimes, we just have to let it go for the moment because being the one to clarify can be a heavy burden and it can further marginalize us in the learning space. in addition, it's possible that the person making the offensive statement is a professor, and then speaking out can also put us in a worrisome position when it comes to grades. knowing that it's okay to bow out of a battle makes it a little easier; and it doesn't mean that issue won't come up at some other point, or that i won't take it up some other way.

engaging through silence or questions
another conversational approach that has really helped me get to know and understand others' points of view is staying silent and asking questions... i often think that people don't ask enough questions these days. it's important to me, when hanging out with friends, colleagues, professors to get a sense of how the view the world, how they have experienced the world, and how they know the world. one way i've been doing this lately is by holding off on sharing my point of view and instead, asking clarifying questions to dig deeper into their thinking.